April 18, 2012: Playing with Today. CWE 202

Final

Today
 

Is a yellow day 
Under the sun’s belly.

You are stitched black.
Blood curdles like
Cottage cheese.

We on the floor
Around you, pulling
Into you. A loop
Circles us. We are
The chocolate sea.

I am a shaggy, biting wolf,
Holding the circle between my teeth.

Day be day, but
Today will not

Be the day you leave.

Removing every other word, two different ways.

Today
Today had

To a mark
across gray white.

We on floor a
Around, pulling out
Into. Today the really
Day spring. warm
April. doctor the on film
uncharacteristic. is warm,
A day the round.

Your is stitched black
your. I change
dressing. blood curdle
cottage. A loops
Circles us. we
Chocolate sea.

I had so
between teeth this
And circle have around. I
Holding circle my mouth.
am shaggy, biting
On wolf my. Today the
That be day you to leave.
That will another, not

Today (mentor’s edits)
Today had

a mark.
We on floor

pulling out
Into. Today uncharacteristic
is warm.

You are stitched black.
Blood curdles
cottage. A loop
Circles us. We are the
Chocolate sea.

I had you
between my teeth this.
I am
Holding a circle my mouth.
I am a shaggy, biting
wolf. Today will not be the day you leave.

Today (my edits with mentor’s edits)
Today had

a mark.

We on the floor
Around you, pulling
Into you. Today a
warm spring day.

You are stitched black.
Blood curdles like
Cottage cheese. A loop
Circles us. We are the
Chocolate sea.

I had you in a circle
Between my teeth.
I am a shaggy, biting
Wolf. Today will not
be the day you leave.


Today 
you surgery
remove black
Floating a and film.

sat the in circle
you, take sandwiches
pieces. was first warm
of. Uncharacteristically
For. The said mark your
Is. Today a day,
yellow under sun’s belly.

incision cross in
Along skin. cannot
The. My will
Like cheese. fan in
above. Today ate
with salt.

have nothing sweet
my as chocolate
this we made you. am
the in white.
I a girl, down
a between teeth. is day
won’t the that begin us.
day be day, today.

Today (my edits)
We sat in circle

around you, today the first
warm day. Today a yellow day
under the sun’s belly.

An incision crosses skin.
A fan above loops. Today we
ate salt.

I, a girl, a wolf
between my teeth.

Day be day, but not today.

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