April 11, 2012: Not feeling it. CWE 193

Not feeling it is frustrating and worrisome. I am tired of these exercises. I want to write something important. I want a project to love. I want characters. I keep expecting them to just show up, but they aren’t. This makes me worry that I’m not a writer and won’t ever be one. I want characters to show up in a dream or while I’m in the shower or driving to work. I don’t want to write about my own life. I want my life to drive a story about characters who are based on me, what else could they be based on, but I want characters to care for, or even dislike, who I can develop a relationship with. I want to tell their stories, understanding that their stories are mine. I don’t know what’s important enough to write about. I don’t know what’s interesting enough. I think a lot about the difference between writing and storytelling and maybe I just don’t have the storytelling gift. The thing that keeps me from believing this and giving in is that I’m a good judge of character. An excellent observer. I don’t know how to turn those observations into a story, though, and I’m afraid I won’t ever know. I want this more than anything but feel so far from finding what I need.

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3 thoughts on “April 11, 2012: Not feeling it. CWE 193

  1. I know how you feel, Stella. My instructor says to continue to write based on your own experiences and that characters will emerge that are some part of you. she makes it seem like the story is born and develops in it’s own time and at it’s own pace. I haven’t gotten the yet either. Hang in there. I think you have some great characters you have introduced that I would like to know more about.

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