December 8, 2011: Ten things I’ll never do. Ten things I’ll always do. CWE 67

I will never…

  1. I will never give up hope on life.  I will often want to.  I will never do it.
  2. I don’t think I’ll ever feel whole.  I think I will always consider myself damaged.  This doesn’t mean I won’t ever be happy; it just means I will always feel like something’s missing.
  3. I will never not want to be a writer.  I’ll never stop daydreaming that I’m a writer.
  4. I will never, never, never cheat on Katie.  Ever.  I have no desire to, and I would never forgive myself or expect her forgiveness.
  5. I’ll never skydive or bungee jump or do anything that involves great heights.  I’m not particularly afraid of heights (like I am of the dentist), but as you get older, you realize that panic isn’t necessarily character building.
  6. I will never enjoy being away from home for extended periods of time.
  7. I will probably never fully trust: mechanics, vets, and dentists.
  8. I will NEVER like going to the dentist or the doctor, but especially the dentist.
  9. I will never hit my child when I’m a parent.  I may get frustrated and I’m sure I’ll say things I regret, but I will never hit them. I will also never knowingly shame a child.  Shame is a terrible burden that time doesn’t ease.
  10. I will never stop daydreaming.

I will always

  1. I will always have an active and intense love affair with home.
  2. I will always think Katie is the funniest person in the world, because she is.
  3. I will always love books.
  4. I will always get frustrated when I write, but I will always be grateful for those rare moments when the fever sets in.
  5. I will always have moments with kids where I feel like I’m in the exact right job.
  6. I will always turn to music to support the mood I am in.
  7. I will always worry.
  8. I will always have a fear of getting in trouble.
  9. I will always love crabs, bread, and cheese.
  10. I will always be afraid.

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